And it came to pass that the Lord God of Israel commissioned Angel Gabriel, the bearer of the Message, saying; “Go ye onto the land of gold and deliver my people from marauding prophets of doom. If any of them resist, expose them and turn them to a laughing stock. Tell the people that I, the Lord of Host did not send them to steal in my name through false prophesy. As for the libidinous play boys among them, like Nigel Gesie, do not touch them because when you return from this assignment I will send Archangel Michael to slaughter them all. Tell them the day of reckoning is beckoning and the clock is ticking louder”
And it came to pass in those same days that fake prophets were in abundance in the land of gold. These prophets of doom brainwashed the children of God and were milking them dry. When the wise ones complained, the prophets of doom said “touch not the anointed.”
So here I go again with my pontification and circumlocution. Just forgive me while I tackle this very important piece. This country, our country is taking things for granted. The “dzi wo fie asem” mentality is seriously taking this country backward. We seem to believe in ‘mind your own business’ mantra as we trudge along to make things work better. We talk of Fix the Country but we refuse to accept the fact that we need to fix our attitude and mentality first. Poor souls! The developed countries did not take things for granted as far as man/hour lost in their daily endeavor is concerned. Time, they say is money. In the case of Ghana, we spend all our time in churches as if we are paid anytime we go to church. We refuse to talk to God directly like Grandma Hannah did when she wanted a child, but sadly rely on these fake men of God to deliver us. We dole out huge sums of money to fake prophets while our children go hungry and suffer. Go to Israel, where Jesus Christ was born and see the time they spend in churches. These so-called prophets are the heirs of similar fake prophets in Israel. I know something about history and no one can defy the laws of history. What is happening in Ghana as far as fake prophets and their prophesies is concerned is simply reshaping history.
Many of these bad nuts started their churches in classrooms in their villages. Before you could blink an eye, they move to big cities and start making ugly noises with loudspeakers fitted along the roads and corners of the towns. They start with the message of salvation. To them, all the evil deeds we commit in this country is as the result of the work of Satan. They preach Satan’s deeds more than the good works of the Lord, thereby, glorifying Satan unknowingly. If heavens refuse to open the sky for the rains to fall, they lay the blame on Satan’s doorsteps. In the beginning, their targets are the poor and the venerable. If a vehicle is involved in an accident and people die, they attribute it to Satan, not the driver, faulty cars or bad roads. Prophets of dooms seem to have hypnotized some poor and sick souls of God’s own country. They are increasing day by day because the Jesus Enterprise is lucrative and juicy.
As the days and months roll by, they acquire a premise with the monies they got from the preaching of salvation. That is the beginning of their quest for material things. As their churches grow, their bank accounts too grow heavy. Then they crown themselves with titles like, ‘bishop’, ‘apostle’, ‘Seer’, ‘most reverend’, ‘prophet’ etc. They don’t do any work as they rely on their church members to feed, clothe and foot their medical bills. Women in the church in particular always make sure the “man of God” lives well by supplying their slay queens ‘sofo maame’ (the prophet’s wife) with food items every week. If these “men of God’ are not married, they scout for a beautiful lady in the church who is equally not married to propose love to such a spinster. To drive fear into the heart of the lady, they will say it was the Holy Spirit who directed that he should marry that person.
To make quick money, they start to prophesize and introduce counseling sessions where they dupe the church members who go to them for counselling. As the church grows, they appoint elders in the church. These elders in turn sell the idea of acquiring a nice car for the “man of God”. Every Sunday, the church members are made to pay something in the form of collection towards the acquisition of the car. In no time, the dress comportment of the “man of God” is changed. He starts to dress foppishly like men of decadent societies of yesteryears and acquire the good taste of life. If a member criticizes their luxurious life style, such a person is excommunicated. He or she is impeding the work of God, they will say.
Then the manufacturing of ‘Anointing’ oils starts. Perfumes and cooking oil are bought from the market and equally corrupt guys who don’t belong to the church are ready to manufacture the ‘anointing oil’. They first sell the ‘anointing oil’ to those who go to them for counselling before it is introduced too their church members. Those who first use the ‘anointing oil’ become witnesses during church service. They will tell the church members how wonderful the ‘anointing oil’ works and before you can say Jack Robin, the first batch of the ‘anointing oil’ is finished and would-be buyers are asked to wait until another Sunday. The one week interval will give the guys who manufacture the ‘anointing oil’ enough time to replenish the stock in order to meet the demand. The lust of wealth becomes the main purpose of establishing the church and the wellbeing of church members is jettisoned in the high seas for the whales to swallow. That is why some of the elders rebel and form a new church with a different name. Have I stepped on toes? If that is the case, so be it.
What is worrisome is that, these criminals in cassocks are not doing the country any good. Hours or days spent in these one-man churches is not helping the country, economically. Some members of the church who should have been at their work places spend all the working days praying in these churches and top it up on Sunday. Just have time to observe the members of such churches when they close on Sundays. You will notice that about two thirds of them, if not more, are women. Why? Are women the only children of God who have problems? Many of them have very low intelligent quotients and so these tricksters capitalize on their low mentality to draw them to their churches in order to skin them alive. The sad aspect of this scenario is that whereas developed countries blaze new trails in science, medicine, agriculture, technology etc, we blaze trails in fake miracle healings, fasting, deliverance and foolhardiness.
This country cannot and must not tolerate this banality of evil and absolute nonsense. Gradually, night is falling on a different world, a world where religion is under attack by charlatans, religious zealots, mercenaries of Eros and scatterbrains who parade as men of God. Notice is hereby served that I am at war with these charlatans. As a self-appointed crusader, this declaration of war on these fraudsters is not open to negotiation or discussion. I am gonna do it in my own way and timing. Those who rob innocent church goers in the name of God, blaspheme the name of God and as Earth Angel Gabriel, the battle is for me to fight for He, who delivered Israel. I know very well that these group of charlatans and their equally evil-minded crooks will stand against me because I stand on their way. I am not deceived by their pretenses to piety. Anyway, do I care? Apuu! Just help me say AMEN and everything gonna be alright. Angel Gabriel de asem beba oo!!! A stick of Miami Calypso cigar will release my tension today.