I once conducted a couple of research in which I asked respondents to share their opinions on the relationship between love, sex and money.
The first question was whether a relationship could survive without money; and the second was whether a relationship could survive without sex.
It will amaze you how many people believed that there could be no relationship without either sex or money. That is, many of the respondents held the view that love could never survive without either sex or money.
Well, that’s true – but only partly. Upon careful studies, I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s safe to say that love or a relationship cannot survive without both sex and money.
At this point, I know the religious people will come at me with all the sermons of remaining chaste before marriage and all that. That’s fine.
Before I continue, let me first issue this disclaimer that: I am not against the principle of remaining chaste before marriage. I am not by this, discouraging people who choose this principle from holding on to their beliefs. Whatever works for you, keep it.
However, you and I will both agree that, in the dispensation or the times we find ourselves in today, it is nearly impossible to have a fruitful and meaningful relationship without either or both of the two – sex and money – showing up once in a while, if not regularly; and that is the thrust of this article – to try and explore some of the reasons why it is so.
Gone are the days when people entered into relationships and kept themselves chaste without the subject of sex coming up. Gone are the days when men and women entered into relationships without having to worry about money. Sad as it may sound or be, it is the reality we are in today. No wonder one of Ghana’s famous singers, in one of his songs, said: “Odo kakraa, sika kakraa”, to wit: “a little bit of love, a little bit of money. (Lol)
You see, as much as we may try to shy away from these topics [of sex and money], it is the reality. Sex and money have both become nearly indispensable in any relationship today. I mean it’s almost like a relationship cannot thrive without both sex and money.
And to play the devil’s advocate, let me do the blame game here. Most ladies today believe strongly that the main reason why a guy would come asking them out is sex. To them, any guy that comes their way, first of, has the intention to get between their legs. Because of this belief, they have psyched their minds such that they relate with these guys on the terms they, the ladies, have formulated in their heads about the guys.
On the other hand, most guys today also assume, first of all, that any lady that readily or quickly accepts their proposals; or any lady that shows the slightest signs of affection towards them is coming for their money. They too, because of this, also psyche their minds in such a way that they relate to the ladies on those terms that they have formulated about the ladies.
But what we may not know is that, sometimes, some of these guys and ladies could have genuine feelings and intentions. But you see, again, no matter how genuine the feelings of a guy may be towards a lady, Chaley, you will still need money to oil the love between you and your partner.
I am one of those gentlemen who believe that money is a critical aspect of every relationship. In fact, money comes as one of the surest ways to express love to your partner.
I don’t mean you should waste money ooo, or give her money “by heart”. Daabi da. But then, when you want to go on dates, when you want to visit the cinemas to see movies with the love of your life, or even plan a surprise birthday party for your woman, will you go to the restaurant, cinemas or the cake shop with sacks of love?
You won’t go tell the owner of the cake shop to serve you a lovey-dovey cake for the love of your life and then leave them with a “God bless you.” You may wake up the next day at either the Korle Bu Teaching Hospital, Ridge Hospital or the 37 Military Hospital. The choice is yours.
In all these situations and even more, you will need money; and that’s what I mean. These things are really not stuff that you’d do regularly. But at least, once in a while, you do any of them.
Of course, that shouldn’t be an obligation for the man alone. Once in a while, the lady too has to surprise the guy or give him a treat. Still, it involves money. But largely, men are believed to be the ones to do more of the spending if they have. That’s fine by me.
But, one also has to be vigilant and smart especially, when it comes to money issues in a relationship. There are people who are very selfish and cunning and would leave you to be the only person taking initiatives and spending. And this cuts across both the male and female genders. With such people, avoid them, if you can. If not, just be mindful of how you relate with them.
So, as a lady, if you expect your man to do all these and spend this much on you, how do you expect him not to demand sex. In the early stages, he’ll make subtle sexual advances at you, with the expectation that you’d see the signs and respond. Definitely you can’t say you don’t see those advances. Where you ignore the signs, he’ll now come more openly, and will you say no? (Lol) And here, my dear reader, is where the issue of sex comes in.
You know what? How about we treating the sex part exclusively in next week’s episode? Yeah. That will give me more time and space to elaborate on it.
In the meantime, share your opinions, thoughts and questions on today’s submission with me via my mail (niifiofio.dailyguide@gmail.com) or any of my social media handles (@knii_fiofio on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok and Snapchat). Will look forward to hearing from you.
See you next week.
By Knii Fiofio