A Leader Refuses Treacherous Friendships

The Art of Leadership

 By Dag Heward-Mills

 

Some leaders accept well-known rebels and treacherous people around them. Some leaders delight in having assistants of former enemies as their assistants. Note that welcoming treacherous people never ends up well! King David knew this and refused to accept treacherous people into his camp.

 

Why You Must Refuse Treacherous Friends

  1. King David wisely refused to accept the killers of Saul as his friends.

It came even to pass on the third day, that, behold, a man came out of the camp from Saul with his clothes rent, and earth upon his head: and so it was, when he came to David, that he fell to the earth, and did obeisance. And David said unto him, From whence comest thou? And he said unto him, Out of the camp of Israel am I escaped.

And David said unto him, How went the matter? I pray thee, tell me. And he answered, That the people are fled from the battle, and many of the people also are fallen and dead; and Saul and Jonathan his son are dead also.

And David said unto the young man that told him, How knowest thou that Saul and Jonathan his son be dead?

And the young man that told him said, As I happened by chance upon mount Gilboa, behold, Saul leaned upon his spear; and, lo, the chariots and horsemen followed hard after him.

And when he looked behind him, he saw me, and called unto me. And I answered, Here am I.

And he said unto me, Who art thou? And I answered him, I am an Amalekite. He said unto me again, Stand, I pray thee, upon me, and slay me: for anguish is come upon me, because my life is yet whole in me.

So I stood upon him, and slew him, because I was sure that he could not live after that he was fallen: and I took the crown that was upon his head, and the bracelet that was on his arm, and have brought them hither unto my lord.

Then David took hold on his clothes, and rent them; and likewise all the men that were with him: And they mourned, and wept, and fasted until even, for Saul, and for Jonathan his son, and for the people of the LORD, and for the house of Israel; because they were fallen by the sword.

And David said unto the young man that told him, Whence art thou? And he answered, I am the son of a stranger, an Amalekite. AND DAVID SAID UNTO HIM, HOW WAST THOU NOT AFRAID TO STRETCH FORTH THINE HAND TO DESTROY THE LORD’S ANOINTED? AND DAVID CALLED ONE OF THE YOUNG MEN, AND SAID, GO NEAR, AND FALL UPON HIM. AND HE SMOTE HIM THAT HE DIED.

2 Samuel 1:2-15

 

  1. Absalom unwisely accepted Hushai the Archite as a friend. And it came to pass, when Hushai the Archite, David’s friend, was come unto Absalom, that Hushai said unto Absalom, God save the king, God save the king. And Absalom said to Hushai, IS THIS THY KINDNESS TO THY FRIEND? WHY WENTEST THOU NOT WITH THY FRIEND? And Hushai said unto Absalom, Nay; but whom the LORD, and this people, and all the men of Israel, choose, his will I be, and with him will I abide. And again, whom should I serve? Should I not serve in the presence of his son? As I have served in thy father’s presence, so will I be in thy presence.”

2 Samuel 16:16-19

 

  1. Jehu wisely refused the advances of Jezebel and executed her. And when Jehu was come to Jezreel, Jezebel heard of it; and she painted her face, and tired her head, and looked out at a window. And as Jehu entered in at the gate, she said, Had Zimri peace, who slew his master? And he lifted up his face to the window, and said, Who is on my side? Who? And there looked out to him two or three eunuchs. And he said, Throw her down. So they threw her down: and some of her blood was sprinkled on the wall, and on the horses: and he trode her under foot.

2 Kings 9:30-33

 

One of the first things a leader does is to make friends. It is these same friends who will help him. The people who support him become his followers. Your friendships form a basis for acts of loyalty, support and even sacrifice. What is the secret to having genuine friends? Be a genuine friend yourself.

A man that hath friends must show himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.

Proverbs 18:24

 

Remember, you reap what you sow! If you are honest, dishonest people will not flow with you. If you are holy, unholy people will not be at ease to become your friends. If you are a traitor, traitors and rebels will surround you! If you are a loyal person, loyal people will surround you! Surround yourself with good people!

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