The Art of Leadership By Dag Heward-Mills
A good husband must show his strength as a head. It is wisdom to be a strong and wise leader in the marriage. Surprisingly, one of the greatest causes of unhappiness in marriage is a weak husband. You would have thought that a strong husband would be overbearing and make his wife unhappy. Actually, it is the opposite! A wife wants a strong leader! You must be able to rule if you are a leader.
- A good leader will not allow his wife to make him disobey God.
You will notice that when the serpent went into the Garden to tempt them, he did not talk to the man at all. He only spoke to the woman. The devil knew that he could get to the man through the woman. Because the bible teaches husbands to love their wives, it is difficult for Christian husbands to be hard on their wives. Many Christian husbands end up disobeying God because they do not want to be hard on the wives they are supposed to subdue. Eve put pressure on her husband and made him disobey God.
…she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat. And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together, and made themselves aprons.
Genesis 3:1-7
Are you making the same mistake today? Are you being soft when you are supposed to be hard? Look at the problems we have in our world today. It all came from a husband who was soft when he should have been hard.
- A good leader will rebuke his wife and put her in place when he has to.
A leader must subdue the manipulative tendencies that rise within his spouse. David the king rebuked Michal and put her in her place when she came huffing and puffing at the king for letting his clothes slip off whilst he was dancing. Many wives’ unruly speeches and behaviour go unchecked. Even pastors, seeking to remain in the good books of church members, do not rebuke these rebellious wives when they have to.
This results in the multiplication of rebelliousness in the women within the church. David had no difficulty in putting Michal in her place.
Watch how David did it! That’s the way to do it. Learn from king David. He was a man after God’s own heart! Perhaps it was the way he handled his wife Michal that made him a man after God’s own heart. It was Abraham’s ability to control his household that made God choose him. In fact, it is your ability to lead your household that qualifies you to be a bishop.
Then David returned to bless his household. And Michal the daughter of Saul came out to meet David, and said how glorious was the king of Israel today, who uncovered himself today in the eyes of the handmaids of his servants, as one of the vain fellows shamelessly uncovereth himself!
And David said unto Michal, It was before the LORD, which chose me before thy father, and before all his house, to appoint me ruler over the people of the LORD, over Israel: therefore will I play before the LORD. And I will yet be more vile than thus, and will be base in mine own sight: and of the maidservants which thou hast spoken of, of them shall I be had in honour.
2 Samuel 6:16-22
- A good leader will not allow his wife’s tears and moods to guide him.
Then said Elkanah her husband to her, Hannah, why weepest thou? And why eatest thou not? And why is thy heart grieved? AM NOT I BETTER TO THEE THAN TEN SONS?
1 Samuel 1:8
It is dangerous to be guided or led by anything other than the Holy Spirit. The tears of a woman are not a substitute for the Holy Spirit. Pastors are tenderhearted and do not like to see people suffering. But a minister of the gospel must pledge himself to be led by the Holy Spirit and not by any other influence. It is new and immature husbands who are greatly moved by tears and sad moods! As you mature, you will come to realise that moods and tears can be used as weapons to manipulate a leader. You will become wary of these weapons when they are deployed against you.
Do not be led by somebody’s quietness, mood swings or gallons of tears. Be led by the Holy Spirit! Adam has got us into enough trouble by listening to his wife when he shouldn’t have. Abraham has gotten this world into enough problems by listening to his wife when he shouldn’t have. It is time to lead in your home as well!
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