From Mortuaries For Muslims To Piglets For Christians


Medical Doctors of the utmost fame have recommended that laughter is good for those who suffer from High Blood Pressure. According to these Medical Doctors, anger pushes the Blood Pressure higher but laughter brings your pressure down. They even say anger is temporal madness.

I therefore, recommend laughter for those who have High Blood Pressure.

In the early sixties, we had three comedians in Ghana who reality entertained us and made us to laugh all day long and forgot our sorrows.  They were called the Ahanta Trio.

We also had the Jaguar Jokers who treated us to rib-breaking jokes.  Those were the good old days when we used to heal our sorrows with laughter anytime these guys were on stage. Bob Santo and Abusuapanin Judas also came later to continue the jocks until Bob Santo sadly died, leaving Judas alone.

The demise of Santo has left a big vacuum hence, the inability of Judas to perform alone. Fortunately, for those of us who admire jokers, one man has emerged to take the place of the late Bob Santo. He is in the person of former president John Dramani Mahama.

He makes my day anytime he mounts the political platform. In no time he will go down in history as the best joker in Ghana. In fact, he is the modern day Charlie Chaplin and will soon find his name in the Guinness Book of Records as the world number one jester.

In the run-up to the 2020 General Election, candidate Mahama looked into the faces of Muslims in our Zongos and promised them that when he was elected as the President of Ghana, he will build mortuaries in 300 Zongos in Ghana to preserve the corpses of dead Muslims.

Muslims across the country became peeved and very angry because according to Islamic believe, Muslims who die must be buried within twenty four hours, barring any unforeseen circumstances. Muslim clerics all over the country considered Mahama’s pronouncement to be blasphemy or sacrilegious.

Dr. Bawumia also waded into the matter and told Mahama that the Zongos need education but not mortuaries. That was when the free SHS was in operation and girls and boys in the zongos were enjoying free SHS. Dr. Bawumia’s reply was a blow which dazed Mahama.

Whoever advised the man to make those unfortunate pronouncements did him a great disservice. Much as some shameless Muslims in the NDC tried to do a damage control, it did not wash at all. I dare say that Mr. Mahama always abandons all the values and respect of the religious beliefs of others except the will to political power.

If you should ask me why I am always on the shoulders of Mr. Mahama, you should as well ask why Mr. Mahama continues to joke to Ghanaians when serious issues are at stake for Ghanaians to brainstorm for the good of the country?

But come to think of this. John Mahama says when he is voted into power as the president of Ghana again, he will distribute piglets for Ghanaians to engage in piggery for a living. He is in one way or the other telling us that he will create employment through piggery. Habba, Mahama? Will Muslims too benefit from this ‘wonderful’ and ‘innovative’ largesse, since they are also Ghanaians?

If Muslims get mortuaries why should they be denied of piglets? Maybe the building of mortuaries which he promised Muslims but never delivered because Ghanaians voted against him will be the only one they will get. After all, the national cake must be shared equally.

Mr. Mahama thinks Ghanaians are fools. When he was in power, people used to rear pigs but his government never gave them any support. Now that he wants political power again, he promises to distribute piglets as if it has now dawn on him that pig farmers must get piglets to rear.

The man has been talking a lot and a talkative always goofs at a point in time. People are asking: Is that all that you can do for Ghanaians when you hold the reins of power again?  You see, the Ghanaian voter has wised up and can easily read between the lines. Mahama always tries to play smart but he is not clever enough. To put it bluntly, the man has no respect for the Ghanaian voter.

He continues to tell NDC delegates that he is coming again to lay a solid foundation for the economy as if he did not get the opportunity to lay the solid foundation when he was the president and as the Vice President he was the Chairman of the Economic Management Team.

No wonder in the run-up to the 2016 elections, Dr. Bawumia, in one of his thought-provoking public lectures said the then Mahama administration built a foundation on straws. Aah, Maybe the distribution of piglets will be the rock on which the solid foundation promised will be laid. Day-dreamer!!.

Mr. Mahama also said he will build chicken coops for people to engage in mini poultry. According to him, a new Mahama administration will supply people with day-old chicks and feed so that when the chicks grow one can sell them and get money.  That is to say when Mahama comes to power again, everybody will get a chicken coop and begin to rear chicks.

So in no time Ghana will become a country of mini poultry farmers.  Is this man serious at all?  May be he has been hypnotized or somebody has cast a spell on him. Here in my holy village, almost every household has a chicken coop so we don’t need to wait for Mahama to come to power to build us one.

Mahama can build those chicken coops in Bole/Bamboi for the people there to rear chicks in addition to their cattle and goats. What sort of infantile antics is this?  When hospitals are being built under the Agenda 111 programme and factories are sprouting up in the districts under One District One Factory programme, Mahama says he will rather build chicken coops.

Soon, the man will promise to build bridges where there are no rivers in the villages and call them village overhead bridges and his gullible NDC supporters will clap for him. The childish antics of the man are becoming funnier and funnier every day.

The truth is that some ill-informed NDC supporters will vote for him based on these childish promises but Ghanaians will reject him since we can read between the lines.

Mahama is acting like the Kumasi Kejetia herbal medicine seller of yesteryears who used monkeys to attract people. When children clapped for the monkey, it jumped from one place to the other. The more the children clapped, the faster it jumped.

Anytime Mahama jokes and his fickle-minded listeners clap for him, he becomes agitated and increases the tempo.  And this is the “President-Elect” who wants to rule a country of more than thirty million HUMAN BEINGS. Apuu!!! And Dr. Duffuor walked away with pain, sorrow, anger   and disillusionment. What next? Aboa bi reba. Gyata bi reba!!!

By Eric Bawah