The other day, I wrote a biting article descending heavily on how we organize funerals in this country – expensive coffins, lavish programmes, live bands, chicken and chips, road blocks and so on. I gave the article to a senior lawyer to read – we were all seated in Justice Akoto Bamfo’s court.
The senior lawyer after reading it shook his head and said “no, Captain, you are wrong. The life you lead today determines the type of funeral you will have. It is the way of society expressing its highest honour for the dead”.
As the senior lawyer talked, I remembered the greatest funeral in recorded history – in 323 BC, when Alexander the Great, Emperor of the known world, died. The catafalque guard for his corpse stretched two kilometres long involving 100,000 armed soldiers; his corpse encased in a golden caravan driver by over 40 horses!!!
If you attend funerals, people will attend your funeral. I have this friend, no, brother, Listowel, who has travelled with me from Accra to Jinjini Berekum several times to attend my funerals, so when he told me of the passing of his father, Geoffrey Komla Agbeli, 78, my participation was not an issue.
In fact, we planned the funeral together: the need to cut down COSTS; the need to avoid his father being kept in the morgue for too long a time, contrasted with the iron policy of the chief of Agate that funerals are held only once a month.
I told Listowel that a person buries his father ONCE and as a high-ranking bank manager, money should not be an issue. We finally agreed on the funeral date – 20th July 2018, nearly five months. But reader, before I could blink an eye, Friday 20th July had come, and we had to go to Agate, a typical Ewe community located between Kpeve and Have on the Accra –Hohoe trunk road.
Thanks to Listowel; I have been to Agate several times including giving them 100 bags of cement for the community local JSS when I was Local Government Deputy Minister.
On Friday 20th July, the corpse left 37 Military Hospital Mortuary at about 2pm and was in Agate by 5pm. Some problems and difficulties delayed my two-car convoy until finally at 9am when we managed to leave Accra for Agate. By 11pm we were in Atimpoku.
I called Listowel and said: “We are coming. How is the wake keeping going?” “Disaster, Captain. It has been raining cats and dogs all evening, so nothing is happening,” he responded.
We finally left Atimpoku at 11.30pm, hit Asikuma junction and ran through the Peki bypass. By 0100hrs, we were at the gates of Agate. The rains had subsided and the weather was cool with fresh dawn breeze.
Listowel received us and escorted us to the funeral home. Ah! Where is the dead body?
In Berekum, when my Legon classmate High Court Judge, Justice Okofo Dartey, died, he was “laid in state” and dressed like a judge.
Minister of State Elizabeth Ohene took me to a funeral in Podoe near Ho, and when we entered the funeral home, there were people seated in a small sitting room. As I greeted them, I got to one of them – corpse!!! Dressed in suit!!!
When the Actors’ Guild President Nii Odoi Mensah died I was at the wake keeping at the trade fair to see him. He was dressed like a warrior, standing!!
Here in Agate, Hohoe South District, the corpse of Ex WO II Geoffrey Komla Agbeli was dressed in military ceremonial uniform, with belt and white gloves in a salute standing at attention!!
It was now 0200 hrs. A detachment of soldiers from Ho Mortar Regiment were around, playing cool music. Borborbor group was also around, playing, and a documentary on the life of the old man was also being screened. The atmosphere was very lively. By 8 o’clock on Saturday 21st July, we were back in the funeral home with soldiers everywhere including church worshippers and mourners. I was innocently walking to my car when I heard an old familiar cry: “Kenp still everywhere!!” I turned to see some Sergeant marching briskly towards me. Instantly, I stiffened up: he saluted, asked for permission to carry on – and I said: “Carry on!! Then he saluted back and relaxed his troops.
It is these petty frills which make the military so attractive to the youth.
The funeral service took place in a very large spacious EP Church officiated by catechists wearing ordinary smooch and long sleeve shirts. Where was the district minister for such an important funeral?
Everything was done in typical Ewe, and at one point I heard my name being mentioned. A friend seated by me said “Captain, they are selling you!! A soldier seated behind me replied “they are only acknowledging your presence…..”
Finally, the service was over around 2pm and they left for the cemetery. We went to the local school park next to the church for refreshment.
I saw superstar Kalsom Sinare and the President of the Ghana Actors Guild, Sammy Fiscian, and other actors and actresses. I saw Barclays Bank Staff, old students of La Bone Secondary School and a few other old colleagues.
Kpando Borborbor group was around, and the Agate Borborbor group arrived in style to shake the place. In a free for all Borborbor dancing spree, I saw a beautiful lady join the dancers, then as she was shaking her backside with gusto, her husband came and pulled her from the throng which caused so much laughter.
By 5pm Listowel’s wife, a caterer had successfully served each of the thousand-and-over mourners with buffet lunch, and as the soldiers from Supreme Cannons in mortar Regiment Ho kept on with their instrumentals, we said goodbye to Agate and drove back to Accra .
From Nkrabeah Effah-Dartey