TA good husband must show his strength as a head. It is the mark of wisdom to be a strong and wise leader in your marriage. Surprisingly, one of the greatest causes of unhappiness in marriage is a weak husband. You would have thought that a strong husband would be overbearing and make his wife unhappy. Actually, it is the opposite.
Even the strongest women are looking for a stronger man who can dominate them, lead them, guide them, teach them and provide for them. Many strong-willed women are highly irritated by weak wishy-washy husbands who cannot make up their minds about anything. They are seeking for a stronger personality that they can confidently call a head.
- If you are a good leader you will command your household, including your spouse, to obey you.
It is God’s wisdom to be a strong leader and a strong head of your household. Human beings are difficult to lead. Even God finds it difficult to win our hearts and to make us obey Him. It is no wonder that a man should struggle to lead his wife.
Since the days of Abraham, the ability to lead your own home has been used as a litmus test for good leadership. “For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgment; that the Lord may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him” (Genesis 18:19). Today, in the ministry, the apostle Paul used the same yardstick to determine whether a person was fit to lead a church.
One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity;
1 Timothy 3:4
- If you are a good leader you will not allow your wife to make you eliminate people God has put in your life.
You must subdue the woman who makes you eliminate the important people in your life. Jezebel is famous for how she eliminated Naboth! But Jezebel is not the only woman to eliminate people she does not want! Many ladies, out of their insecurity, eliminate people they do not like! It is not uncommon to find a long list of ladies who have been eliminated due to the pressure wives placed on their husbands.
The Jezebel spirit is callous and unfeeling, not caring what happens to those who are eliminated. Jezebel did not care what happened to Naboth! He could go to hell, as far as she was concerned. She organised the elimination of somebody’s father, brother and son. The voice of Jezebel rings loud and strong today, ‘Let her go. Let him go, I don’t want to see them anymore. I don’t care what happens to them. I don’t care if they do not have a ministry anymore. I don’t care if they do not have a job anymore. Just let them go out of my sight!”
And it came to pass, when Jezebel heard that Naboth was stoned, and was dead, that Jezebel said to Ahab, Arise take possession of the vineyard of Naboth the Jezreelite, which he refused to give thee for money: for Naboth is not alive, but dead.
1 Kings 21:15
- If you are a good leader you will not allow your wife to lead you away from your ministry.
This is what happened to Solomon. You must subdue or reject the woman who leads you away from God. Unfortunately, some men allow their wives to lead them away from their ministry. I remember a couple I counseled about a decision they were taking to leave the church. Initially, it looked as though the husband could be persuaded to do the right thing. However, he completely turned away from the path of righteousness and went astray. It was mysterious to me because I perceived that he was listening to my counsel. Years later, I found out that his wife, although quiet during the meetings, was the strong influence behind the scenes, urging him to resign and leave the church. Just like Solomon’s wives, this lady had turned her husband’s heart away from the ministry. Wives are powerful people. They can actually turn the direction of somebody’s heart!
But king Solomon loved many strange women … For it came to pass, when Solomon was old, that HIS WIVES TURNED AWAY HIS HEART after other gods: and his heart was not perfect with the LORD his God, as was the heart of David his father.
1 Kings 11:1,
Be led by the Holy Spirit! Adam has gotten us into enough trouble by listening to his wife when he shouldn’t have. Abraham has gotten this world into enough ‘terror’ by listening to his wife when he shouldn’t have. It is time you became as wise as a serpent and subdued your spouse!
By Dag Heward-Mills